“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”.
– Toulouse-Lautrec in the Movie Moulin Rouge.
When I read this quote from the movie, Moulin Rouge, I get a smile on my face as I think back to the beautiful bohemian scene of Satine and Christiaan on the Elephant Balcony. The couple declaring their true love to each other and sealing it with a passionate kiss – my knees get weak, I get butterflies in my stomach and I melt away in my seat…that must be true love?
So why is it that, one moment, we can feel and experience the bliss and ecstasy of being in love with a person, and the next moment you are seeking the help of a marriage counsellor or relationship coach?
What happened that caused the relationship to totally disintegrate into nothing and there is not even a glimpse of the romance and passion that you shared before? The truth is that more and more marriages and relationships are seeking the help of marriage councillors and couples’ therapy because they are unable to communicate effectively with their partner any longer. These couples are desperately looking for a way to strengthen their bond again and enhance the relationship.
We are finding that relationships and marriages are struggling with grief and frustration – grief over the relationship that has dissolved and frustration for not being able to fix it. There is a feeling of desperation and anxiety about the fact that they feel totally disconnected from their partner. No one understands how the relationship/marriage could have disintegrated so much that they basically have nothing left to say to each other. These relationships have so much unresolved conflict due to their inability to successfully communicate, that in the end, they do not know how to get out of the emotion of anger and back into intimacy with their partner. Does this sound familiar?
Scientists have discovered that when you are in love, the same neurological region in our brains fire and light up, as in the brain of a cocaine addict.
It releases euphoria-inducing chemicals and hormones, dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. The oxytocin – also called the love hormone – gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling when you are in love, and vasopressin can cause you to be aggressive and territorial over your partner. This euphoric feeling of being in love does not last forever, and when these hormones have subsided, and your relationship has not grown into a mature and deep partnership, you will find yourself grieving over “what was” and it is usually during this phase where you hear the words “the relationship has lost the spark” or “we have grown apart”.
As a married couple who have both previously experienced the sadness and pain of a divorce, we are truly empathetic and understanding of the emotional, behavioural and financial impact a failed relationship or marriage has on both partners, their families and friends.
We acknowledge the fact that most couples who eventually seek help from a marriage counsellor or relationship coach, has tried everything possible and are desperate to fix their relationship. When the first cracks appear in a relationship, the biggest fear that couples have is that everything will end up in heartbreak and that they will divorce. If there have not been any signs
Our relationship coaching focuses on the individual first, before moving into couple’s therapy.
It is important to get each partner to deal with their individual emotions, feelings, beliefs and inner conflicts as well as heal all past relationships. The outcome is that each partner has a better and deeper understanding of themselves and their values. When it comes to relationships, the scene out of the movie Jerry Maguire where Tom Cruise wholeheartedly declares his love and tells Renee Zellweger “You Complete Me”, does not make sense at all.
A successful relationship consists of two 100% whole and healed individuals who are grounded and balanced and who can contribute, love and live fully conscious and present in a relationship.
These strategies and programmes that we offer in relationship coaching are not only for couples, but we also offer to coach individuals who are separated or divorced and struggling to heal and move on with their lives. We often find that a person may have moved away and do not have any contact with their previous partner but are emotionally still trapped in the relationship. Suppressed and repressed negative emotions, memories and even believes that the individual experienced and formed during the relationship, is keeping them away from finding peace and happiness within themselves. Issues like trust, anger, doubt, sadness, grief, fear and anxiety are still controlling and running their inner world and causing them to not be able to totally heal and move on with their lives.
The Transformation Coaching System™ that we use in our coaching and programmes are truly transformational in the sense that it will eliminate and collapse all negative emotions and limiting beliefs that are still stuck in your subconscious and keeping you away from finding inner-peace, balance and happiness.
Our Coaching services include, but are not limited to:
- Relationship Coaching
- Marriage Counselling
- Healing past Relationships
- Pre-marriage Counselling
- Improving Relationships and Intimacy
- Family and Parenting
- Resolving Self-Esteem problems
- Improving Self Image
- Boosting Self Love
We, as a couple, are truly committed and dedicated to assist and coach singles and couples to heal present and past relationships, and by doing this the individual will be able to live a more peaceful, balanced and happy life. The principles and techniques that we apply in the Transformation Coaching System™ are unique, ground-breaking and result-driven. It deals directly with the issues at hand and clears up the beliefs and negative emotions around these issues.
The solution to resolving relationship problems starts with every person, taking responsibility and investing the time, energy and money in growing and developing themselves, for them to become the person that they want the other person to be.
The only way to change your outer world and results is to change your inner world.